the newest kembang desa

Cute,pout,spike..very young...I mean very very you...he's only 18 years old...and he is a gogo boy at Bali Joe the most sought after gay bar in bali...LOL

D & G Spring Summer 2011 Ad

It's the Spring Summer 2011 Ad Campaign...love the warm feeling of those light, the easy breezy pose also the freshest boys around...

newest cover magazines!

Here are the newest cover of fashion magazines...the coolest of the coolest...smell like spring time!

From the lovely newlywed Lara Stone for Paris VOGUE to Nicole Kidman for Haper's Bazaar US to my dearest husband Mr. Ford for Interview Magazine...all in the freshest springy mood!

the cool afternoon

Sitting by the beach...love the breeze...it's indeed one cooler afternoon at legian beach...

the fourth day

Mam Liza Linda said : it is okay to feel blue & down, but give time a schedule...not more than three days on the fourth day you wake up and becoming even stronger...

These words giving me such a strength...give things a time schedule...that including your blue and down period...I will always remember this when I'm at the lowest mood...oh my dear friend please do wake up...people need you to be cheered up...big smiles...if you think your life isn't worth for yourself you are wrong...I'm as your best friend need you...to give us those positive energy...

I know I was so weak few years ago or even weeks ago and all this moody feeling just because of a guy who ruined your nicest smile...and I don't wanna deal with those scene again..it is too consuming...those prince of charming might not be exist actually...it only exist in you mind...not in your reality...please don't sweat over a small stuff...

my silence

I don't write you any e-mail not because I forgot about you already...in fact I keep thinking bout you everyday...but somehow there are worry-ness in my mind of being hurt again by any of your statements...then we will goes again into the same circle...the never ending yet consuming scene...I do still missing you, I do still want to know about your news...but again I'm trying to protect my feeling of getting hurt again by you...my dear Olivier, if only I can easily making you understand we are probably still together...but heiy this probably it...we are not meant to be together yet...I miss you much...

he's just not that into you

Sometimes or maybe many times...if you had great times with a guy, talked great stuff, laughed...also those conversation which in your own idea leads to another meeting...and so forth..doesn't mean that he wanted to see you again...that's my theory about "he's just not that into you" :) it happened to me tho :)

the smile

I do have amazing best friends...that I have to keep in mind all the time when I am in the lowest mood...such as for the last few weeks after I found out that my relationship with Mr.Big a.k.a Olivier didn't work...

My lovely mam Linda, noticed me that I was sooo sad thru my status on my Facebook...and also my best friend Ulis...and two nights ago we had this talk on FB & my BB...and all of the were worried about me...and Mam keep telling me that I really should be thankful with what I have now...yeah living my own dream...living in Bali not in Jakarta, so far I am in a good shape...I have friends...I have a relaxing job and so fort...

Once again, I would like to say thank you so very much for such an amazing friendships...I love you all my best friends...

xoxo

bring back those smile!

I guess this is the longest mourn I have so far over this past year...I am really floating still my mind over him and him and him...I hate this...I really hate for being sooo damn blue...

Perhaps I do need to go back to my gym routine...ohh what ever!!!

the january

I have no idea why until now I haven't found any sparks this year...January I guess supposed to be a great month to start this great year...but heiy nonthin' cool comes yet...pheewwww...I'm getting lonelier and lonelier, met interesting guys bot stopped after one meeting...oh man, what the hell is wrong with me?!!...first month of the year but already too much blah blah blah :)

Perhaps gym will help, perhaps reorganizing my work stuff at the office will help, perhaps yeah perhaps getting my Populaire project will help...but I guess my heart stuff and my feeling stuff will just be like...hmmmhhh flat...and tears!!...

I'm in ubud now...I'm here because I think this going to be good just stay away for a while from Kuta area...or Seminyak...but end up so lonely...I guess this is not about getting away, or have as much as fuck buddies...but this is all about my state of mind...those old tiring days seems making comeback lately...the oh-so-not-happy-nites...or the oh-im-so-lonely moments just hitting again...oh noooo....

I really have to wake up, and reorganizing my shabby life!!! But somehow I am soooo need a friend to be with to go through this mess...

Oh dear...I am now feel like floating again...lost in translation...nowhere to go!

the birthday plan

I have made my plan...and I kinda excited...it will be Saigon + Bangkok...I will be hitting Hochiminh for my birthday celebration and will be followed by City of Angels...I will bring my nicest shirts+pants+shorts+shoes+sandals+book+songs...it will be chic traveling like Carrie went to Paris...only this one will be hell a happy ending story...there will be nice dinner, shopping and hanging around cool cafes...

I really can't wait...can't wait to wear my coolest outfits to walk around the town and meet coolest boys in town hahaha...

Love it!!!

Hail, Mr. Ford...gotta have this magazine for sure!

 

sick

Damn, I hate for being sick...today I am sooo weak...still I have tons of work that I need to finish...meanwhile my heart still hurt...I want my happy face back!!!

je me souviens vaguement de vous

Cher Mr.Big,

It has been more than a week, and completely no news from you...I keep thinking and bringing back all the good memories when we were on vacation, when we were together having lots of laughs...

I guess I vaguely remember you now...it is sad...very sad...but somehow I am glad that I barely remember what we had..and I have only a little hate on you...just a little as I have no power to hate you not because I am too in love with you..it's because I am too tired...my heart just too tired...

xoxo
+tino

too good to be true

As far as I can remember, I have never been in love for almost six years...I know that's such a long years...I have never planned that...never...but it seems the more years the more it becomes blur...blur like I really can't recognize it...poor me...

I almost fell in love with this guy named Maximillian, the guy of my dream I guess...but heiy when I met a guy that is too good to be true...then it is literally too good to be true if it happened...I met him thru gay website, he was so nice and I am instantly under his spell, really...it was such a joy to know that is a guy somewhere out there and perfectly what I have been dreaming of...but again too good to be true...

We never met, until last year...we met in Bali as he suddenly flew to Bali to have a vacation for the second time with his best friends and yeah this time with his boyfriend..., he called when he arrived in Bali and he said to me "Gosh your English so flawless"...then when I was there to meet him in real...I was stunned, nervous and hell I care nothing even though he is with his boyfriend...he hugged me and I was like...goshhh...when he told me that he is with his boyfriend I was thinking must be his boyfriend is some cute, hunky Thai guy...well indeed too good to be true...he is just some Malay guy...not that I am telling Malay guy not cute but he isn't...somehow I am glad...but somehow I feel like damn...what the hell is going on with me...I have those qualities over him but heiy...indeed too good to be true...perhaps the imperfection is all about...

I was brokenhearted...until now I am...is it wrong if you have those qualities, sing the same songs, we like the same paintings, we adore beaches, we crazy about the same movie or we keep complementing each other but still we can't be boyfriends? Life is unfair indeed...really unfair...

I feel now I am walking nowhere in terms of my love life...I have no body to pursue, literally I have no one to be idolized...I am also too tired nagging around my past...

No more hope on new year...I will just keep walking and perhaps never looked back...if I do then I will have just smile...

the NOT to do!

If you go to a gay bar...expect nothing than having fun with your friends, eye candying or just to hit and run...but never ever you expect to find your prince of charming...because it does not exist or you will only find either an old man with those popping eyes or some young money boys...

Have fun and just make lots of laughs...or yeah get drunk dancing all night!

Understood...

catching up

It has been a while I have never been updated my blog...been busy with my training program also my ups and downs mood...oh yeah those moody feeling!


This morning, Monday morning, bit early at the office...seems quiet but my mind filled with thoughts...most of it thoughts of work :)...oh man this sarah vaughn, dinah washington, billie holiday seems too good to be true to be listened in the morning...


Humm I will start with my story meeting up my best friends...in a one find day trip to Ubud...it was a relaxing and ended by having dinner at Potato Head in Petitenget Seminyak...and yeah after we were all exhausted...I hope to see you again Wenni, Miunds+husband also Jasmin...


Was wondering around Ubud street seems like an addiction...perhaps I will do it again this weekend with my friend...so relaxing, so chic!


Oh yeah...I went up to this cafe called Press Ban in Oberoi street, to meet my other best friend Iman (we usually called him Iman Komaneka as he was working with this beautiful resort in Ubud called Komaneka) :) and there was I...sitting pretty in this bohemian ambiance called Press Ban Cafe...a shop filled with pre-loved + vintage clothing and stuff...not to mention a cute waiter that somehow keep asking me things at my first timer there...and this boy so damn cute...and yup Balinese (as a plus I might say :))..anyway...second time around I went up again to this place and again was having a pleasant conversation with this kiddo...but again I didn't dare to ask his number...kinda lame but I want to ask his number next time I go there...


To be continued... :-)

what i'm doing now...

It is amuse me when I have to work on clothes...between my main job and this project...I can feel that the excitement begins!

Now I am working on dress for my women's collection...it would be only dresses for them...this is for the 1st collection...

After perhaps with some trouser with blouse...most of the material will be fine cotton + jersey as a touch...


Wait for the men's!!!

over a short & sweet discussion

Heiy, this probably the year that I need to finally make all my dreams happen...especially with my own clothing line...yeay!!

Over this short and sweet discussion with a good friend of mine and with his good friend which now also my good friend...ah well confusing hahaha well with a nice good friend then came up with this project...a project of my dream...hopefully it will take off smoothly...

I will start to make my own plan for my own brand called (perhaps...I think I am sure) populaire...it will be mens clothes with a bit of girls too...

Oui, I have to start to sit for hours and make the plans!!!

Populaire fait a bali!

headache

What the hell is going on I suddenly feel headache...

the tiredness

I guess this is the peak of my mind...I guess I need to get off the roller coaster and re-boot my self...this is like unstoppable tiredness in mind.

Gosh, I have no idea why? I can't even cry...I guess I am experiencing again sort of panic in my heart...like here we go again...those ups and downs which I was thinking this is gonna be end this beginning of the year...

I remember when I was in Jakarta 3 years ago when I was saying to myself that I am tired to fall to the wrong situation...dealing with some ignorant guy and so fort...that was the time when I was so happy that I can finally let it go all of my hopes to find the right one...now here ago again...everything crashed then it looks like I need to do it all over again which I hate so much...

I feel at the moment I need to re-boot myself...and let go all those bullshits...I will have to walk by myself again for another only God knows hundreds or even thousands miles away...


I will be fine of my own...I want to take it back the glory of being alone...I need to get back to it...even though still until now I feel so bloody moody...


I am tired...really tired...

same old...same old...

This scene, faces, way just too familiar for me...I'm bored! I need my own familiar faces & scenes...kinda scenes & faces that makes me smile, laugh and peaceful...damn I miss those scenes & faces...

This is when I'm in the peak of boredom at this too familiar scenes, faces and sounds!

Arggghhh perhaps I just need a good f**k hahahaah