I met this guy...and he is just exactly my one of a kind...tall, great physic, silver fox hair, loving jazz, art...just slightly too good to be true...hmmmhh well I am now trying so hard not to like him that much or even fall for him...hahaha...
He kissed me twice and it was a great quick kiss...yummm..I will call him The Ace!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
the final closure
The fact that Mr. Big has no answer to the question made me to think to take the final closure...he sent me e-mail and he told me that when I asked him about "What are we now? Are we boyfriends?" those question he didn't ask for him self and he asked me to answer it by myself...
Then I laughed...I was laughing because for me that's absurd and for me the fact that he couldn't manage his answer for me that's funny...I replied his e-mail with "If you can't answer it then my answer will be Yes we are boyfriends"..but then again I told him that "it takes two to tango" those question also you need to answer...well same old same old...
Here we go with sending and replying the e-mail...until finally again he told me last night on his e-mail that "I have no answer for those question"...
I am fine...very fine...I have no expectation on you Olivier...I don't deal with the one who has no courage to have a relationship.
I have made my point...and I am very happy with it :-)
Then I laughed...I was laughing because for me that's absurd and for me the fact that he couldn't manage his answer for me that's funny...I replied his e-mail with "If you can't answer it then my answer will be Yes we are boyfriends"..but then again I told him that "it takes two to tango" those question also you need to answer...well same old same old...
Here we go with sending and replying the e-mail...until finally again he told me last night on his e-mail that "I have no answer for those question"...
I am fine...very fine...I have no expectation on you Olivier...I don't deal with the one who has no courage to have a relationship.
I have made my point...and I am very happy with it :-)
Sunday, December 26, 2010
the sunday meeting
It was a perfect sunday ever...I just loved it...oohh I see flowers everywhere now LOL...
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Nelly Furtado - All Good Things (Come To An End)
"Flames to dust, Lovers to friends, Why do all good things come to an end?"
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
the 3 a.m
You know what babe? I used to woke up around 3 a.m...just like an automatic alarm...woke up and there you go...your e-mail arrived...after reading it then replying...I went back to sleep like a baby...but now I am not trying to wake up anymore around 3 a.m, no I am not even trying to think about it...as I know there will be no e-mail from you anymore...
I miss you, but I guess you are out of reach...yeah out of reach...
God save the Queers
Ahhh can't wait for the party tomorrow...yeap it will be a birthday bash of my favorite gay bar called Bali Joe...Bali Joe goes Hollywood...dress code will be purple + gold...
Purple shirt? Check
Black slim pants? Check
Gold bow tie? Humm well need to work on this tonight!!!
Black loafer? Damn...need also to work on this...
The plus one? Check...Thuke will be my plus one :)
I guess I am ready for a party...hopefully it will be so much fun!!!
yeah GOD SAVE THE QUEERS!!!!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
the BIG question
This BIG question keep banging my head for the last few days...well almost a week now...I guess there will be no perfect timing, never! So what I do is just spill it out and done!
I woke up this morning...filled with one and only BIG question..."What are we? Are we boyfriends?"...then I automatically checking my blackberry..there you go his e-mail arrived telling me that in Paris the situation just bad..snow, delayed, emergency stuff coming to his hotel...I said to myself "Damn...I was going to tell you at the soonest but now you are telling me that you are having a hard time in Paris...bloody snow!!"...
But then again...I am telling myself...I guess there will be no perfect time to tell him...never...the only thing to do is spill it out and tell those BIG question...and as I promised myself : what ever the answer I will be fine and probably this is the only way to release myself from this rollercoaster...
No high hopes, no great expectation...I just have to deal with it just like a BIG boy :) so I will just shoot..BANG BANG!!!
I woke up this morning...filled with one and only BIG question..."What are we? Are we boyfriends?"...then I automatically checking my blackberry..there you go his e-mail arrived telling me that in Paris the situation just bad..snow, delayed, emergency stuff coming to his hotel...I said to myself "Damn...I was going to tell you at the soonest but now you are telling me that you are having a hard time in Paris...bloody snow!!"...
But then again...I am telling myself...I guess there will be no perfect time to tell him...never...the only thing to do is spill it out and tell those BIG question...and as I promised myself : what ever the answer I will be fine and probably this is the only way to release myself from this rollercoaster...
No high hopes, no great expectation...I just have to deal with it just like a BIG boy :) so I will just shoot..BANG BANG!!!
Monday, December 20, 2010
a top or a bottom
"Loosen up..think like a top!"
That was my bestfriend replying my blah blah blah one night through blackberry messenger...yeah right it is still about Mr. Big and me...
Hell that was right...sometimes as a bottom guy we didn't really speak up what's in our mind as we are too afraid of losing...anything that makes you happy kinda act...I guess I do not speak up my mind when it comes to Mr.Big, just like waiting for him to give those words...then came across my mind about speaking up my mind...I said I MISS YOU...then I didn't care about what kinda reaction or reply that he is going to send me back...If I miss him then I will say it and if I love him I will also speak up...then I did...then I feel so much (again lighter!)...
After this kinda heavy weight conversation with my bestfriend Ulis...me my friend Boni decided to hangout at Bali Joe...and I feel I have this power being as a lady on TOP hahahah...I was like daring...like don's care about things...I speak up my mind...and be an ignorant bitch...then I felt so much fun...fun as I feel powerful as a bottom guy...hahahah...
Gosh...Indeed I have to think like a TOP and act still like a BOTTOM...just take it or leave it...perhaps next I will tell him that I LOVE him...I don't care with his reply..I will just speak up whatever in my mind...ARE WE BOYFRIENDS?
xoxo
That was my bestfriend replying my blah blah blah one night through blackberry messenger...yeah right it is still about Mr. Big and me...
Hell that was right...sometimes as a bottom guy we didn't really speak up what's in our mind as we are too afraid of losing...anything that makes you happy kinda act...I guess I do not speak up my mind when it comes to Mr.Big, just like waiting for him to give those words...then came across my mind about speaking up my mind...I said I MISS YOU...then I didn't care about what kinda reaction or reply that he is going to send me back...If I miss him then I will say it and if I love him I will also speak up...then I did...then I feel so much (again lighter!)...
After this kinda heavy weight conversation with my bestfriend Ulis...me my friend Boni decided to hangout at Bali Joe...and I feel I have this power being as a lady on TOP hahahah...I was like daring...like don's care about things...I speak up my mind...and be an ignorant bitch...then I felt so much fun...fun as I feel powerful as a bottom guy...hahahah...
Gosh...Indeed I have to think like a TOP and act still like a BOTTOM...just take it or leave it...perhaps next I will tell him that I LOVE him...I don't care with his reply..I will just speak up whatever in my mind...ARE WE BOYFRIENDS?
xoxo
single is fun, being attched is another fun
Over a conversation with my bestfriend Ulis, I was telling him about how i feel now with my new beau, how I feel insecure about this new sort of relationship...I feel insecure because I feel there is no legitimation on what we have now after the great holiday...there was no magic words to define our relationship...
Then I said to my best friend, "Humm life seems simpler when you are single...yeap..there is no rollercoaster mood such as what I have now...but when I am single too long i feel miserable as feels like lonely especially on Saturday night..hahaha"....but he said something that really makes me wonder "Yeah single is fun..but being attached is another fun!"
Yeah damn right...if I have choices being single or attached...I will say...being attached probably more fun...especially if you are being attached with the One...the one that you really like and you like him like there is no tomorrow hahaha, the one that you can feel secure...no worries at all...happy go lucky...
Now I feel, insecure about my status...even though after I had the conversation with my bestfriend I feel so much lighter...like no expectation at all about my relationship with Mr.Big...last time I sent him texto : "heiy Mr.Big, I miss you!"...he replied : "Bises, I am working again!"...I felt...FLATTT...
Then I said to my best friend, "Humm life seems simpler when you are single...yeap..there is no rollercoaster mood such as what I have now...but when I am single too long i feel miserable as feels like lonely especially on Saturday night..hahaha"....but he said something that really makes me wonder "Yeah single is fun..but being attached is another fun!"
Yeah damn right...if I have choices being single or attached...I will say...being attached probably more fun...especially if you are being attached with the One...the one that you really like and you like him like there is no tomorrow hahaha, the one that you can feel secure...no worries at all...happy go lucky...
Now I feel, insecure about my status...even though after I had the conversation with my bestfriend I feel so much lighter...like no expectation at all about my relationship with Mr.Big...last time I sent him texto : "heiy Mr.Big, I miss you!"...he replied : "Bises, I am working again!"...I felt...FLATTT...
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
the cloudy sunset
No sunset today...cloudy! But I always love the breeze here...sitting pretty with Boni, drinking one coke one teh botol...talking about the pasts...from as a first timer to stoopid guys in our life...well this is why I chose to live in bali for the past (almost) two years ago...
Life indeed funny...I feel my life just funny in its on way...all the stories, all the shities, all the baux garcons, all the stoopid garcons...all all and all...
Whooopsss the water just getting higher and higher...here comes the tide....but still we are continuing to sit here...sitting pretty and do nothing...
I just love my life....
Xoxo
Friday, December 17, 2010
riding a rollercoaster
A conversation over textos :
Me : "Do you miss me?"
Mr.Big : "I am working a lot"
Me : "Oui je sais, mais est-ce que tu me manque ou pas?"
Mr.Big : "Why this question?"
Me : "Because, I keep missing you"
Mr.Big : "Me too, bises!"
I guess you don't miss me!
what i want this weekend...
I want this...please send me all! :) Lanvin + H & M Him Hiver 2010 Collection...
j'adore le week-end!
It's weekend already...and I am happy! :) Just like everyone else who's working for the whole week, weekend becoming a holly day :) with a holly ritual pampering yourself hahaha...well sort of!
Last weekend I was in Bangkok, geez time flies so fast...planning to go to Ubud though but bestfriend coming from Jakarta to spend the whole next week in Bali also this weekend...her name is Thuke oh gosh we've been bestfriends for soo many years...since 1995 yeap when we were young...pretty much young hahaha...
Hummm...I guess I will have a round-around-seminyak-kinda-ritual take some snap shots on coolest boutique, shops, people...whatever...no going out this weekend...really no going out :p I will keep myself sober this weekend...
Or I can finish to read my book the Carrie Diaries and watch Sex & The City Season 4 hahaha...such a joy!!!
Hoping that I won't miss anybody this weekend, so my life will becoming lighter and lighter and lighter this weekend.. :)
J'adore le week-end!!!
Last weekend I was in Bangkok, geez time flies so fast...planning to go to Ubud though but bestfriend coming from Jakarta to spend the whole next week in Bali also this weekend...her name is Thuke oh gosh we've been bestfriends for soo many years...since 1995 yeap when we were young...pretty much young hahaha...
Hummm...I guess I will have a round-around-seminyak-kinda-ritual take some snap shots on coolest boutique, shops, people...whatever...no going out this weekend...really no going out :p I will keep myself sober this weekend...
Or I can finish to read my book the Carrie Diaries and watch Sex & The City Season 4 hahaha...such a joy!!!
Hoping that I won't miss anybody this weekend, so my life will becoming lighter and lighter and lighter this weekend.. :)
J'adore le week-end!!!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
i want my boyfriend...period!
Music, lights, crowd...drinks...boys....all I want is my own boyfriend...sigh!!
the quotes...probably part one
I like quotes...here are some quotes that I love most and my own quotes that I love most too :)
"The arrivals & the departures, two things that I love most and I hate most" (my own quotes on the airports, traveling also relationships)
"Walk slowly, talk slowly, eat slowly...that's how you can enjoy your holiday" (my own quotes on traveling around and vacationing...no hurry, slow motion...just enjoy!)
"Are we simply romantically challenged, or are we sluts?" - Carrie Bradshaw
"So many roads, so many detours, so many choices, so many mistakes" - Carrie Bradshaw
"We have to be mean to ourselves" (my own quote on being rejected or just broke up with someone hahahaha)
"I just want to end the highs & the lows of searching and looking...I just want to finally say - That's a wrap!" (my own quotes on being so tired of looking for a Mr.Big)
" Do we need distance to get close?" - Carrie Bradshaw
"Life indeed has a funny way...one day you are in one island and the next day you are probably gone to another island...always ready with you passport+luggage full with cool things to be with" (my own quote on vacation)
"I'm looking for love, real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love" - Carrie Bradshaw
"I guess there's a fine line between you are in love and brokenhearted...they are both consuming, hurting and sometimes makes you cry" (my own quote on reaction being in love and brokenhearted...F**K)
"Just wanna hang only with you...a quiet night, tony bennett and you...soon...soon" (my own quote pn much awaited vacation in December)
"I am sorry, I really do...:(" (my own quote on forgetting Olivier's birthday)
Hail MR. FORD!
Many years ago I fell in love with the guy, TOM FORD...still now he is the only superstar that I would like to ask for an autograph hahaha...love him because of his beautiful face :) also his talent when he was working for GUCCI & YSL to me his design is very untouchable, it's the glamorama of Hollywood...
I was so happy when he launched his men's collection under his own name TOM FORD...then now after six years hibernating finally one of the most awaited collection for women's has arrived...very him...very Gucci & YSL in the 1990s...a sleek, expensive and a collection with attitude...
Now he would rather you did not "Tom" him anymore, people would call him Mr. Ford now...the launched of his collection full with his muses from top models to celebrity like Julianne Moore...it's a very private & secret affair fashion show they said...
Here some of his collection photographed by Steven Meisel all pictures are collected from various websites.
I was so happy when he launched his men's collection under his own name TOM FORD...then now after six years hibernating finally one of the most awaited collection for women's has arrived...very him...very Gucci & YSL in the 1990s...a sleek, expensive and a collection with attitude...
Now he would rather you did not "Tom" him anymore, people would call him Mr. Ford now...the launched of his collection full with his muses from top models to celebrity like Julianne Moore...it's a very private & secret affair fashion show they said...
Here some of his collection photographed by Steven Meisel all pictures are collected from various websites.
thursday morning
Not so great morning tho...woke up late, my head still like glued to my pillows, quick shower and hmmmhh pooofff I am at the office now...the weather just fine today in Bali...
Last night I went to Balijoe with friends just to feel better a bit about what i felt yesterday...which I wasn't sure what it was hahaha...Balijoe is our place...our means me and most of my good friends love to hangout there probably because they are friendly people who are working there...from the waiter to the most of the guests also the great host Maks who always cheer us up when we hang out there...and from my point of view this place is a sissy place hahaha not kind of hardcore place..while other places seems to be hardcore or yeah not so entertaining...
Went there with Boni and TJ, and for sure met the belle host Maks and it was a quiet night at bar perhaps this is one of the lowest season before next week people starting to come for their counting down night...yeap perhaps...we were talked, laughed, doing silly things...but somehow my mind occupied with something that I wasn't sure about...anyway always entertaining to visit familiar place like Balijoe with familiar friends like them...
2 a.m I called my ex then he called back...I keep missing him for the last few weeks not in a romantic way but I just missed him, we have this weird connection even tho we are apart almost 6 years now...weird...I am happy to know that he is fine and the fact that he is now ready to launch his album in Paris also Japan...I wish you good luck always bubblebutt...
"When a relationship dies do we really give up the ghost or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past?" - Carrie Bradshaw
Last night I went to Balijoe with friends just to feel better a bit about what i felt yesterday...which I wasn't sure what it was hahaha...Balijoe is our place...our means me and most of my good friends love to hangout there probably because they are friendly people who are working there...from the waiter to the most of the guests also the great host Maks who always cheer us up when we hang out there...and from my point of view this place is a sissy place hahaha not kind of hardcore place..while other places seems to be hardcore or yeah not so entertaining...
Went there with Boni and TJ, and for sure met the belle host Maks and it was a quiet night at bar perhaps this is one of the lowest season before next week people starting to come for their counting down night...yeap perhaps...we were talked, laughed, doing silly things...but somehow my mind occupied with something that I wasn't sure about...anyway always entertaining to visit familiar place like Balijoe with familiar friends like them...
2 a.m I called my ex then he called back...I keep missing him for the last few weeks not in a romantic way but I just missed him, we have this weird connection even tho we are apart almost 6 years now...weird...I am happy to know that he is fine and the fact that he is now ready to launch his album in Paris also Japan...I wish you good luck always bubblebutt...
"When a relationship dies do we really give up the ghost or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past?" - Carrie Bradshaw
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
my kinda clothes
Here are some pictures I got from The Sartorialist, the kind that really me...the style, the color, the look...the ones that I like most and probably the ones that I want to wear...
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